Wedding Unity Candle Ceremony

Wedding unity candle ceremonies are a beautiful symbol of your new life together as a married couple. Two taper candles, lit prior to the start of the wedding are placed on either side of a large pillar candle. The pillar is to be lit by the bride and groom.

This pillar can be a plain white candle or it can be decorated in many ways. The pillar I used was white with a scripture reference painted on it in gold. A ring of pink flowers surrounded it. It was from a store called Wicks N Sticks. That store had some awesome candles, but I understand they all went out of business.

You can purchase one decorated in a candle store or in a Christian bookstore. If you are crafty, you can decorate the candle the way you want it to look.

The tapers can be lit by an usher. Some couples have their mothers light the tapers as they are brought in to the church, before they are seated, with piano music playing, while the wedding guests watch.

After the rings are exchanged but before they are pronounced husband and wife, the bride and groom walk over to the table where the candles are displayed. Since the bride is on the left, she will pick up the left taper. The groom will pick up the candle on the right.

Together they will light the candle during wedding unity candle ceremonies. Then they can blow out the tapers to symbolize their separate lives being over as they form a new life together.

Or they can leave all three candles burning to symbolize that the bride and groom are still individuals and Christ is at the center of their union.

Lighting the candle can be done during a special song or when the minister (or someone that you choose) is reading about the symbolism of the candles.

At my wedding, we chose to light our unity candle during a special song so there were no words explaining it. The beauty of wedding unity candle ceremonies is that no words are needed. The ceremony is so simple and self-explanatory, yet deeply meaningful to everyone.

A friend of mine sang "There Is Love", which, to us, was better than a symbolic reading about the candles.

A piano, harp or guitar solo softly played in the background would also be beautiful at this time during your ceremony.

The lighting of the wedding candles is optional in your wedding ceremony. If you choose to include it, afterward, you can display the pillar in your home as a beautiful reminder of your wedding day.

In lieu of this, some couples opt for a sand ceremony.

If you choose to have a wedding unity candle ceremony, you will probably want some music, either background or someone singing a special song while your guests watch you light the pillar. Consider having a beautiful piece played on the piano with no
singing, or have the minister (or the person of your choosing) read about the beautiful symbolism of the wedding unity candle ceremony, either with the piano or keyboard playing softly or without any background music at all.

A third option, and the one used at my wedding was to have a friend sing a beautiful wedding song. We chose the song, "There Is Love". Two other great song suggestions for this portion of your wedding are "We've Only Just Begun" and "The Glory Of Love". (By the way, I used all three songs in my wedding.)

If you choose to have the symbolism read as part of the unity candle ceremony, below are some ideas. You can use the two samples below, or add to them. You can also write your own if you are great with words.

Sample Reading One

The lit candles represent the bride and groom. They now commit their lives to each other in unity, with Jesus Christ at the center of their relationship.

Jesus said in Matthew 19:4-6, "Haven't you read...at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." NIV

Sample Reading Two

___________ and __________ stand in the presence of God today, declaring their love and commitment to each other and to Him. The lighting of the middle candle symbolizes the union of their lives. From now on, they will live and grow together with Christ, the light of the world, leading their way.

Those beautiful wedding candles in specialty shops can be expensive so you may want to decorate a unity candle yourself. They are just wax so why do they cost so much?

The answer is simple. You are paying for the time it took the crafts person to paint and/or decorate a plain white candle and make it look fancy and just right for your wedding.

So try your hand at making a plain candle pretty. If you have not created anything before, don't let that stop you. It is not difficult to decorate a unity candle.

First, find a tall white pillar candle, three to five inches in diameter. These can be purchased inexpensively at many discount and hobby stores.

Now you need to decide how you want your candle decorated. You can paint it or put stickers on it. You can glitter it or tie a beautiful ribbon around it (near the bottom, away from the lit flame, of course).

Always think safety. If something is flammable and you use it on your candle, please put it far below where the candle may burn during your wedding ceremony. Don't put anything too close to the top so you don't start a fire away from the wick.

Also remember that after your wedding, you will want to keep this candle to display in your home along with other mementos of your wedding.

There are special paints for decorating candles. These come in the forms of spray paint and paint that you can apply to the candle with a brush. They can be found online or in craft stores.

You can paint your candle using a brush freehand or using stencils that can also be purchased in many designs at craft stores.

You can glue glitter, stickers, jewels, ribbons, pearls, small shells, and other decorative items to your candle with special tacky "glue" for candles called Sticky Wax. This is also used to hold candles in holders. It can be found in craft stores with the candle-making supplies.

Personalized Candle Holders And Memory Candles

by Leah Christensen
(Canada)

Instead of having one large pillar in the middle, we just had a third taper. The reason for this was that after we lit our candle, we were going to take the lit candle together (much like we took the knife to cut our cake) and light three more candles; one in memory for each of my grandparents in Heaven, and the third for a dear friend of my husband who was also in Heaven. We wanted to light these candles together, after our own was lit.

For his friend my husband picked a special candle holder with a design that she always loved, and I bought a holder with two hearts, for my grandparents. I had their names and wedding date engraved on the base of the holder. They were married 63 years, and my mother gave us their wedding rings.

We also had pictures of them, and of my husband's friend on the table by the candles.

When we lit our unity candle, we did not blow out the candles, because we believe ourselves to be the individuals we were before, with the center candle representing ALL that joined us. We are also of two different religions (Presbyterian and Mormon) and we kept our own names.

However, the candle in the middle represented

-Our belief in Christ
-Our love for each other
-Our families coming together
-All that we had in common

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Thank you, Leah, for sharing what you did with your wedding candles!--Juanita